Talking to Your Adult Children About Your Divorce

 Posted on July 11, 2023 in Divorce

There is quite a lot of information out there designed to help younger spouses going through a divorce care for their minor children throughout the process. While there is no doubt that a parents’ divorce can be challenging for minor children, it can also be challenging for adult children when their older adult parents get divorced. Although your children may not live with you anymore, there will still be changes in the family structure they must cope with. Your children may even have children of their own who may be surprised to learn that their grandparents are splitting. If you have not yet told your adult children about your impending divorce, you may be concerned about how they will react. Although your children are now grown, they are still your children and your divorce may have an impact on them. Knowing how to approach talking to your adult children about your divorce can go a long way towards keeping the peace in your family. 

Tips for Discussing Your Divorce With Adult Children 

Regardless of your respective ages, you are still a parent and your children are still your children. Some tips for talking about your divorce with your adult children include: 

• Avoid speaking ill of your spouse - Even though your spouse is no longer going to be your spouse, they are still going to be your child’s other parent. It is best to not disparage your soon-to-be ex-spouse in front of your children. This can create a conflict of loyalty, and make your child feel that they must choose a side. 

• Maintain the parent-child relationship - Many older adults begin viewing their children as peers. While some degree of this is healthy, it is important to maintain your role as a parent. It can make adult children uncomfortable if their parent begins treating them more as a friend by asking for dating advice or psychological support. 

• Allow them their reaction - Your children may or may not react well to news of your coming divorce depending on the circumstances. It is important to allow your child to experience the emotions they are having. Do not worry too much if they initially have a negative response. Shock and disbelief are common initial reactions. 

• Avoid guilting them  - Especially if you are living alone for the first time in your adult life, it normal to feel lonely and want your children to spend more time with you. However, do not cross the line into making your child feel guilty when they cannot spend as much time with you as you would like. Likewise, do not balk when your children want to spend time with their other parent. 

These tips may help you as you discuss your impending divorce with your adult children. 

Contact a Wheaton Attorney for Gray Divorce 

Divorce Over 50 - Goostree Law Group is committed to helping adults over 50 years old get divorced as easily as possible. Our experienced Wheaton gray divorce lawyers are particularly skilled at uncomplicating divorce for older adults. To begin with a complimentary consultation, please contact us at 630-634-5050. 

Source:

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/home-will-never-be-the-same-again/202206/6-tips-parents-gray-divorce-help-their-adult-children