Will My Adult Kids Be Okay if I Get a Divorce? 

 Posted on December 13, 2022 in Divorce

Many parents of young children stay together despite serious relationship difficulties because they are worried about how getting a divorce could affect their children. After all, endless studies warn of the potentially negative impact of divorce on children. But children do eventually grow, and couples who are still married once their youngest child finally leaves the nest are faced with the question of what to do next. 

While divorce may unquestionably be the best decision, most couples still have worries about what their divorce will mean for their adult children. Knowing what the experts have to say about the issues can help, as can taking a mindful approach that balances the children’s needs with the parents’ needs. 

Experts Say Your Children Are Still Your Children

One major difference between adult children and minor children is that most parents of minor children know that exposing the children to the parents’ interpersonal conflict is bad for the children’s mental health. Adult children, however, are often neglected in this regard and parents may inadvertently pressure their children into taking a “side” by oversharing their relationship problems. While your children will likely still have many questions about why you are getting divorced, and probably will have at least some of the maturity required to understand why adult relationships end, they still deserve to be protected from the pressure of choosing one parent or the other. Keep the details mostly to yourself. 

Expect Disappointment and Anger

Depending on the circumstances of your case and the perceptiveness and maturity of the child in question, experts advise parents to be prepared for any reaction. Your child may understand and encourage you to do what is best for you, but he or she may also lash out in anger, fear, confusion, or disappointment. After all, so much of a family’s time together is spent in the parental home, even after the adult children have children of their own. That loss can be very difficult to process and your children may not understand or empathize with your reasons for ending the relationship. This is normal and will likely pass with time. 

Trust Your Kids

At the end of the day, it is important to know that your children are adults. They can and will process the information of your divorce however and whenever they need to. There is only so much you can do to be supportive and protective of them; at some point, they need to take on the process of healing and processing themselves. Give them the time and space they need. 

Meet with a Naperville, IL Gray Divorce Attorney

At Divorce Over 50 - Goostree Law Group, we know that managing the relationship with your children during divorce can be very challenging. Our Dupage County gray divorce attorneys are here to manage the legal elements of your case so that you can focus on what matters most: keeping your family healthy and whole throughout the changes divorce brings. Call our offices today at 630-634-5050 to schedule a free, confidential consultation. 

Source: 

https://psychcentral.com/blog/the-psychological-impact-of-divorce-on-adult-children#2